


Taking charge

by kremlin



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, First Time, Smut, birthday prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 19:31:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14600145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kremlin/pseuds/kremlin
Summary: Nessian smut. No plot.





	Taking charge

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mywritingbox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mywritingbox/gifts).



_ How could this have happened? _

Everything had been perfect until a few seconds ago. Like usual, they had started out slow: Hesitant kisses, his lips pressed to her stiff ones until her mouth grew soft and her lips pliant. A playful bite and tug with his teeth on her plump bottom lip, the tip of his tongue softly brushing the seam of her mouth.

He had proceeded slowly, toying with her, teasing her, until she grew impatient and shoved with both hands against his chest, pushing him to lie flat on the couch and climbed on top of him, her full breasts flattening against his chest as she molded hers to it. He had laughed and she had glared at him and then kissed him - a real, full kiss on the lips and then much tongue.

Delighted, Cassian had let her take charge. 

That was how their dynamic worked. He pushed and teased and then waited for her to attack him, which she usually did. Nesta would never just act without him creating the opportunity for her. Maybe someday she would, but probably not for some time. So he gladly provided her with every excuse and opportunity to attack him. 

They had took their time kissing and then slowly shedding their clothes. Cassian’s shirt fell first, then Nesta’s. To his complete surprise, so had her bra. So far, it never had. Cassian had grown a bit nervous, but also very, very excited. 

He had reverently run his hands and lips over her body, especially that part of her he had yet get acquainted with, and when he had softly pinched one pert nipple between his lips, Nesta had produced a weak whimper that had been so adorable, he had sworn to make her do it again. 

She had. Over and over again, until her whimpers turned to gasps and moans and she hissed at him to finally take off her jeans.

By this point, Cassian was sure, he was dreaming.  _ Bra and pants off on the same day? _ He almost couldn’t believe his luck. 

Determined to enjoy every damn second of it, Cassian had begun peeling off her skin-tight jeans at the pace the earth’s tectonic plates moved, despite a very impatient and steadily growing more annoyed Nesta telling him to hurry up. But he had needed to make sure that every sliver of skin he met for the first time was properly greeted and then politely introduced to his lips. He had manners after all.

By the time he finally had peeled the pants from her feet and had become acquainted with the delicate thing that was her ankle, Nesta had been red-faced and squirming. Cassian had shot her a wicked grin and then decided her legs had yet to meet his good friend tongue. Beginning at her calf, he began kissing and licking his way up, past her knee and inner thigh, inching closer and closer to this ultimate target. 

But when he had been close enough to smell her arousal and feel the heat radiating through the fabric of her underwear, he had diverted his course and instead worked his way up her body, until his eyes met again with that lovely, cold, piercing glare of hers.

“Cassian,” she'd snarled. “Get on with it!”

He had chuckled and gagged her with his tongue, revelling in her obvious desire for him, bathing in her want. 

His fingers had wandered over her body again, explorative and teasing, until they eventually dipped beneath her panties and into the soaked heat between her legs. 

They had both shared a hissed breath and a heated look. For a second, Cassian had even been convinced he saw a triumphant smile playing on Nesta’s lips. Well, more like feel, because his lips had already been back on hers. 

Cassian had proceeded to rub and pinch and press against her slowly; slow enough, that Nesta had begun grinding against his fingers in desperate search for friction and release. When she had begged him to put his fingers inside of her, he had followed suit, but kept his slow pace, taking pleasure in every moan that had been half frustration and half lust.

When she had come the first time, it had been almost accidental, a slip of control in the sensual torture he subjected her to. The second time not as much. 

And again, he had been surprised when Nesta, panting from pleasure and coming down from her high, hadn't intercepted him when he had taken off her underwear completely. Instead, she had spread her legs silent in invitation and demand. The sight of her naked on his couch, her glistening, pink center in full view, had overwhelmed Cassian a little and he had had to hold himself back from soiling his boxer briefs right there and then. 

To distract himself and also just to annoy and pleasure her a bit more, he had knelt between her legs, kissing the soft flesh of her inner thigh, locking eyes with her. He’d made sure she felt his tongue on her skin before sliding higher, all the while holding their eye connection. Nesta's eyes had been wide, closely observing the course of his tongue between her legs, but quickly closed them when it had brushed over the place his fingers had been working at before. 

Cassian had taken his time with this as well. After all, he had waited almost a year for this to happen. He couldn't risk fucking it up.

She had been a sobbing, trembling mess by the time he had decided he had dragged the foreplay out long enough. So Cassian had hoisted a boneless and panting Nesta up in his arms and carried her to his bedroom. He had planned to properly do this on his bed. 

And now she was laying beneath him, legs spread wide, pleading softly for him to finally put it inside - and he was limp. Half hard at best, but not enough to properly fuck her, let alone put it inside. He couldn't even get the condom on in this state. 

_ How could this have happened? _

“Cassian, what is it?” 

“Sorry sweetheart, just give me a minute!” 

He didn't understand. He was horny as hell after a steamy foreplay that had had the windows fog up, his hot girlfriend that he had been head over heels in love with for  _ years _ and that finally responded his feelings laying naked and ready in front of him, wanting him, and he couldn’t get it up for her. This never had been a problem. Hell, she usually just needed to look at him with that domineering, cold glare of hers and his balls squeezed tight. 

“Is something wrong?” Nesta propped herself up on her elbows with a little frown. 

Her legs were still spread wide and the sight she granted him was magnificent, but nothing moved for him. His cock couldn't be convinced to do his damn job. 

Nesta's gaze fell onto his limp noodle. Under her silent scrutiny, it shriveled up even more. Cassian began panicking. And then her eyes met his and a flicker of hurt shone in hers - and she closed her legs. 

_ Fuck. Fuck. Fuck _ .

Exactly what Cassian had been afraid of. He'd fucked up. 

“Nesta -”

“Is it because of me?” she asked quietly. 

“What?”

Nesta sat up fully and pulled the comforter they'd shoved aside earlier closer to cover herself with it. 

“Am I not attractive enough? Did I do something wrong?”

“Cauldron Nesta, no! No! You're perfect. It's me.”

Nesta's face twisted in hurt and Cassian cursed himself. He heard himself how sorry of an excuse that was.

Combing his shoulder-length hair back with both hands, he blew out a breath. “Look sweetheart, it has nothing to do with you, I swear. I desperately want to sleep with you. I just… I don't know what happened. I was rock hard mere seconds ago. But then…”

Nesta still looked dubious. “Then what?”

Cassian shot her quick glance and tugged at the comforter. Nesta granted him a corner of it to cover himself with. With the corpus delicti out of sight, he breathed easier. 

“I guess, I crumpled a bit under the pressure?” he admitted with burning cheeks. He couldn't look at her, he was too ashamed.

Nesta blinked surprised. “What pressure?”

“I have been wanting this for so long… what if I'm not good enough? What if you don't like it? What if it's not good for you?”

“Cassian, I am not a virgin. I know how sex works and what to expect.”

“I know. Still!” He wanted to make it good for her. Perfect. Their first time needed to be mind-blowing.

Nesta studied him in silence. “So basically,” she concluded softly, “you’re putting yourself under pressure, because you're anxious to make it good for me and that's makes you a bit too excited and nervous right now and that's why you can't?”

Hearing her spell it out for him like this made Cassian feel like an idiot, but she was right. He had been stressing about needing their first time to be perfect, putting himself under stress.

“I'm sorry,” he murmured, terribly embarrassed and ashamed.

Nesta was quiet for a few heartbeats, and then laid back down. Opening her arms for him with a soft smile he hadn't seen before, she said, “Come here.”

Dejected, Cassian slipped further under the sheets and moved into her open arms, his head coming to rest between her shoulder and chest. 

“You're an idiot,” she chided softly. 

“Yeah,” he sighed, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight. 

To his complete astonishment, Nesta cradles his head and dropped a kiss on top of it. Then she began stroking his hair. 

Cassian stiffened in surprise. She'd never been this openly affectionate with him. But Nesta kept caressing his hair and soon his back and Cassian found, he liked being in her arms like this. Turning this head, he nuzzled her chest with his nose, peppering small kisses to every inch of skin he could reach. 

“I love you, Nesta,” he confessed quietly. 

“I know,” she simply replied with another kiss to the top of his head.

“Next time, I'll rock your world!” he promised.

Nesta gave a snort. “Who said, I wouldn't rock yours?”

Surprised, Cassian raised his head. “What?”

Nesta raised an eyebrow. “You're not the only one, who's good with their mouth, you know?”

Cassian's jaw hit the floor. Something else, however, suddenly surged up. Nesta glanced downwards, clearly amused.

“Seems like someone's been eavesdropping and liking what he heard.”

Abruptly shoving him, Nesta pushed Cassian onto his back and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips, their lips meeting in a scorching kiss. And then her lips slowly travelled lower. 

_ Yes _ , Cassian thought delighted. He definitely liked Nesta taking charge.


End file.
